Msg me if you want advice or just a friend to talk to. Im here to listen not to judge. We all have our own struggles. Dont be afraid. Keep fighting.
talk to metheme

HOW THE FUCK DOES IT WORK HUH?

I EAT HEALTHY

I WORKOUT 4-5 TIMES A WEEK AND ITS LIKE CARDIO AND WEIGHT LIFTING AND I CANT LOOSE A GRAM OF FAT?

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I CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS SHIT ANYMORE DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? IM SO FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF THIS. I DONT WANT THIS. GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD.

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How did I let myself become this fat and disgusting? Gosh I’m a fucking disgusting pig. I’m gross I can’t even look at myself anymore. I want to punch every mirror I see just so I don’t have to look at myself anymore. Why can’t I be skinny? Or pretty? Or smart? Or good in anything? Why am I such a gross fuckup? There is absolutely nothing to like about me. Literally not one thing. Who would ever want me? Why can’t I be like her or her or her? Why? Why am I me? Why am I alive? Why did someone invent food whoever invented calories can go fuck himself. I cant handle this anymore I cant look at myself without wanting to purge I swear to god I disgust myself so much. I wish I could just be skinny and fit and pretty and I wish someone would love me or just like me or want me. I’m not good in anything. I fucking suck. I will fail anything I try that’s why there is no point in trying anymore. I wish I could just cut all the fat out all that food I binged but didn’t purge out. I wish I could just cut it out with a blade or scissors so I could not have a big roll of fat when I sit or when I stand. I wish I didn’t have to suck in my stomach everyday 24/7 I want to be so skinny that you can see my bones, my thigh gap, and my cheekbones. I want to be skinny. I want to be pretty. I never will be. I hate myself so much. Everyone laughs at me for being this repulsive. I bet they secretly laugh behind my back when I run and they see all that fat jiggling. I bet they laugh at me when I eat and say: “she shouldn’t be eating that she is so sickening.” That’s why I shouldn’t eat. That’s why I can’t eat. But I do. And I hate myself even more each time I do. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but ill never know how that is. There are no joys in living for me anymore. The only joy I would have is if I would be 15 or even 10 kg lighter. I wish I was skinny. I wish I were pretty. I wish I didn’t disgust everyone. I want to starve and purge and be as light as a feather. But I’m too fat for that to happen. I’m just so repulsive and I hate myself more each day. I’ve become obsessed with a number, a number I see 7-10 times daily. That’s how many times I weigh myself. Twice just so I can be sure that the number I saw was right. I cry when I look at it because its not what I want. Its not a 45 or a 42 or a 40 or a 38. That’s my goal in life. I will be skinny no matter what it takes.